Leaping Lizards! It's A Leaping Horse!

A friend recently gave us a bottle of Leaping Horse Chardonnay made by Ironstone Vineyards. I don't want to talk about the wine, just the labels. Ironstone Vineyards is in Lodi where good wines are made, but to a large extent they have to compete with the likes of Yellowtail and two buck Chuck, hence the animal front label. In an effort to be user-friendly, the back label lists four statements in addition to the usual warnings to pregnant women and other health warnings: 1) "Style", 2) "The Low Down", 3) "Home Grown", 4) "Match Made In Heaven". "Style" has a useful description of the wine. "The Low Down" is more of the same. "Homegrown" is another way to say "estate bottled". "Match Made In Heaven" is about food pairings. This is definitely a worthy effort at an informative label, but in my opinion, every back label should have these four elements: 1) Style, 2) Readiness, 3) Ageing Potential, 4) Food Pairings. Style - what kind of wine is it. What does it taste like? What's it's personality? Readiness - when will it be ready to drink. Tonight? In a year? Two Years? Ten years? Ageing potential - how long will it last? When will it be at it's peak? Food pairings - what does it go with? What is it perfect with? Robert Parker moved us beyond vagaries about the Queen's coronation, elegance and "stuffing." Now it is time to move on to useful information for the consumer who more often than not must depend on the label to decide on a purchase. Friendly animals and pretty front labels are not enough!